she doesn't want perfume
memories over the material
My family aren’t stuff people.
None of us own designer clothes or handbags. Nor do we have fancy cars or the latest tech gadgets. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to splash out more often. But every time I fill my online shopping cart, a nauseating wave of guilt grips me and I end up abandoning it in favour of saving for my next trip or dinner with friends.
I’m not sure where this mindset came from. Probably from my parents, who were both raised in households where disposable income were more limited than nowadays. But that’s beside the point, what I’m trying to say is: we’re all crap at giving gifts.
For years, we tried. And to be fair, the birthday presents were never bad. But they weren’t particularly exciting either (besides the cats).
These days, we tend to give experiences instead of things. Forget the perfume and ASOS vouchers.
Think along the lines of:
Dinner at a new restaurant we’ve been wanting to try
Afternoon tea and a spa experience
A gift card for a countryside retreat in a shepherd’s hut
A contribution towards scuba diving qualifications
It all started when I gave my notoriously difficult-to-buy-for, “I don’t know what I want” sister a voucher for a Eurostar trip. (For my non-EU readers: the Eurostar is a train connecting London to mainland Europe, with stops in France, Belgium, and the Netherlands. Yes, it goes under the sea. No, it’s not a glass tunnel where you can see mermaids and fish in the English Channel, sorry I was disappointed too.)
it was a hit for three reasons:
It gave her a choice: multiple cities, one voucher.
It was something she wouldn’t buy for herself.
It guaranteed quality time together.
She chose Amsterdam, it’s somewhere we’d both already been, which freed us from the ‘tick-box tourism’ that often rules capital city breaks. The timing was perfect. It was October, and the place was almost glowing with autumnal charm. The trees lining the maze of canals had turned warm shades of orange and brown, and we enjoyed postcard-perfect views of the street lantern-lit streets from our townhouse apartment in the south of the city.
We visited the Van Gogh Museum (a first for both of us) and ate homemade sandwiches in Vondelpark. Sure, we both spent more than the £70 return ticket I initially gifted her, but the return on investment was infinitely better than if I’d sent her a candle and called it a day.
why i’m team gift giving (and should be too)
In a world already full of stuff, most of which we could buy ourselves if we really wanted, do we need more?
Instead, experiences drag us away from our screens and out into the world. Most the time, even if they are a bit crap, they are meaningful, memorable, and personal. Whether it’s a holiday, a wine tasting, a pottery class or a weekend in a shepherd’s hut, there’s something intimate about giving somebody a ticket to guilt-free fun.
And I’m going to be honest, a memory, even a silly one, beats a scent any day.
I'm definitely team experience gifts over stuff gifts. Unless you're super close with the person - and I mean physically close, as in you have a good sense of what they own and what they don't - it's so hard to know if you're getting them something they actually need and will go use. And as you said, experience gifts are much more memorable!
Love this! I ask loved ones for experiences (a sister camping trip) or money for experiences (funds toward a writing workshop), and they’ve been the best gifts. Also, a fan of homemade or functional gifts I’ll use in my day to day.